My Book One

this new comer looks like knows a lot. she tried to give me a good lesson. i remembered a family acarya talked to me after she had a questions for me. after this meeting, she showed that she wanted to review my lesson. interesting thing is i havn't had a lesson reviewed for thousand of years. But she didn't know why. Once i asked Svarupa, how long can you hold up your arms while you sing kiirtan? half hour? No, is the answer. i said to him i can do for three hours. In front of Ranjitananda and didi Ananda Laliita in a meeting during a retreat while dada was giving a darshan. In the end, i said to them, you learned this ten bija mantra from an acarya, i leared them from Ba'Ba'. This bija mantra is related to kapalika buja which i was interested since i knew from acarya. When he came to see me he taught me. i told VishaMitra, i couldn't think of him. if i do, i will enter samadhii right away. that's why i have to think of something else because i have duty to do everyday. Ba'Ba' knows i didn't have the oath not to tell those ten bija mantras. But he appeared in front of me one night and told me not to say them to people. Actually, i was ready to tell on the next day. Since Ba'Ba's instruction came, i obeyed. Just like i was in the school in Ranqi headquarter, Ba'Ba' wanted to see me physically. i only saw a shadow to tell me the instruction, when i was brushing my teeth in the morning. I had these kinds of experiences so many times. A devotee is a devotee. It's a kind of very high level of spiritual practice. No people have this level in thousand of years, Many headquarter acarya with Him so many years but they don't know him. Later, when he left his body, they started to criticize him this and that. My God, they should know they have to be at a very high level to do that. That's why there is a sentence only those people can say. "It only takes a saint to know a saint." i could not listen kiirtan too long. When i listen kiirtan over two hours, my tears will drop down over my face. At the moment, i think of him very much. Couldn't stop thinking of him, seeing him. Most of the time it happened while i was driving to a far place, like next state. i like to join retreat every year. Once a year, i can focus on this kind of intensive practice, i collect so much spiritual energy for a whole year. i wonder why there is some people come to retreat? One time i walked to the back on a parking lot. i saw one car out there was shaking, up and down for several minutes. i didn't know what happed to the car. This is sort of typical American margii's culture? Most of us enjoyed this kind of spiritual meeting.