The First Thing A Sadhaka Need To Do

What is a free will? Actually there is no such thing called free will, Always God's will. You can do whatever you like to do. But what may happen? You need to take the reaction. In Buddhist's "Wu-Ming" means ignornace. In sansript it is Avideya. Avideya means a way which is leaving away from God. The evolution on the spiritual level, on the mental level and even physically level all go toward Parama Purusha. No entity can be exceptional. When you are the one who do not want to go to God, what would happen? You will take the reaction. I am so eager to know what the God's will is when i take on the apiritual pratice in the very beginning. Any sign? any word? anything will make me believe is His will. Then, i found a way to communicate with Him. I felt relax and this life became so easy. So, you still say your Guru is controlling you? Your God still controlling you? You have your own will?